My dad Ronald S Biggar Jr

Notes about my Dad - Ronald S Biggar Jr

Remember scrooge or the grinch. That was my dad.

When I was a kid I grew up as the poorest kids in the neighborhood. I had clothes that didn't fit and shoes with very large holes. My brothers and I never had allowance like my friends. When we did get money I remember my brother bought a jacket and I bought jeans. This went on until I was 14 and started cutting lawns. We would walk to the mall in the snow and my brothers and I would compare who had the biggest holes in our shoes and socks. The shoes were the cheapest grocery store shoes you could by. My brother Ronnie would almost always win. One time his shoe bottom was torn 1/2 way off and his foot was soaked with slush. I wish I knew more because I would have gone to school barefoot. We had a 6th-grade graduation where we had to get dressed up. Ok is seems stupid but I wore high-water pants and a white tee shirt. Kids had a good time making fun of me that day because I stood out more than usual.

I remember getting tuna helper in my lunch and complaining because one of my brothers wouldn't eat it so my mom added it to the tuna anyways. When I told her I won't eat it she started crying because she didn't have enough to feed us. I told her to just seperate it out so the portions matched but she didn't listen because she was so upset. I took the sandwiches to school and threw them out. I usually got extra food from kids that had more than they wanted. I had a lot of good friends at the time. The majority of what I ate was macaroni and cheese or bread with melted cheese and lots of peanut butter crackers. When I was 14 I bought most of my own snacks and a year later my mom started working and we had better food.

One year my dad decided we need a new roof. So he bought the materials and had us kids put it on for a laughable amount of money. We weren't forced to do it. The side of the house was 3 stories and most of the back was also. The house was a split level with a main floor a down stairs and a upstairs making for 3 stories, The down stairs was not a basement. It had windows all around and a door. So my point. What kind of cheap ass bastard puts his kids up on a roof without any safety gear to save a few bucks. I remember almost falling and my brother almost slid off the roof. I did the roof on the high side my brother did the low side because I didn't want him to fall. This was clearly child abuse or reckless endangerment. This wasn't the only time this kind of thing happened. My younger brother got paint remover in his eye trying to strip bikes so he could afford to buy one. So my father was selling bikes and his son didn't have one.

When it came to chores. My father would yell and throw a fit early Saturday or Sunday morning. We would all get some chore and I don't remember him ever doing anything around the hose. Basically I was raised as a slave.

Did my dad get violent? Well everyone has their moments. For the most part, he was more bark than bite but if you didn't react to the bark you got bitten. He blew out my brothers ear drum where it was bleeding out his ear because he failed a spelling quiz. He chased my brother out of the house when I got between them so he could get out the door. My brother wears hearing aids. Now I had a few incidents as well. One of the biggest was the night of the last episode of Mash. I was watching the show in bed when he was getting ready to go on a date. He put a bunch of socks in the laundry sink and ran the washing machine. Of course the sink over flowed and created a small flood. He comes in my room and demands I clean it up now. I was trying to watch the last episode and I would have helped him but he had no intention of doing any work. He had a date. I hope she was worth it because he left this memory for his son to remember forever. When I said I would help after the show he knocked all of my papers, books, and electronic parts from my desk into the water. I was a bit of a nerd and a good student. This was a major blow for me. I told him I was definitely not helping at that point. He picked up the TV over his head and was about to throw it at me when I smashed him out the door with the desk. I ended up cleaning the whole mess anyways.

I could go on and on with bad dad stories. After age 15 when my mother was working he got better with the exception of the Mash story. He was out there playing football with us most weekends and we went riding often. He got more involved.

When my mom got divorced my dad signed an agreement to pay for his kids college and provide for us until we had a chance to do so. My older brother went into the Marines. I did go to college and had to pay for my community college out of my Marine boot camp pay for starters. In total, I paid for 3 years of Jr college and 1 year of university of Maryland from this money and the sale of a car I got $2500 profit for. On top of that, my dad made me give him the $1400 for the car when I bought it. My dad did pay for one year of Capitol college where I got an AA degree and a very low paying job where he kicked me out of the house I was renting out rooms for him.

Well my living situation is even worse. I stayed at his old house where rooms were rented out. The majority of the people living there were drug addicted or dealing drugs which I told my dad about many times. I was in the Marine Reserve and shouldn't be exposed to all that second hand smoke. They would have a crazy number of people almost every night partying. I was severely depressed and failing in school and suicidal. The drug addicted people at the house had more concern than my father. My dad blamed my girlfriend who was push me to succeed in school. Trying to keep the house quiet so I could study and earning money to buy food and clothes because my dad gave me $10 a week. I finally kicked everyone out of the house and my dad told them they could all come back. I went through a time where the neighbor who was best friends with a policeman told me we were being investigated and were about to be raided. With the news of that I was able to get the biggest dealers at the house to stop. They didn't stop on my word, they stopped after one of them barely got away after being chased. He was Billy Chandler (booky and drug dealer). I finally got fed up one night when the druggies were doing LSD in front of my younger brother and kicked everyone out for good. I managed to keep good decent renters for 2 more years. We had good times and fun on the weekends like college kids do but without the drugs and assholes. My school improved where I brought a D average up to a B. That GPA struggle haunted me up until 10 years ago when I tried to get into a Masters program. When my dad kicked me out he moved Billy Chandler (booky and drug dealer) back in for a couple more years. I stopped talking to my Dad for about 5 years.

I started talking to him again when my son Ryan was born. I wanted to give him a chance to be a part of my family. Things were very tough for me financially but I didn't expect my cheap ass father to help. My father-in-law became my real father and for the most part is the only father I ever knew. He taught me how to fix things. He taught me how to handle money and how to be a good man by example. I stopped having a relationship when I was separated from my ex. My father-in-law Bob helped me when I couldn't pay all the bills and helped pay the rest of the way for my school. My father was busy buying $5000 stamps, collectible book, and saving for a new house. Remember my mom had an agreement. My dad and Linda would give us office supplies they took from the government for Christmas presents.

When I was going through my divorce I reached a point where I had all my kids living with me and I had huge legal bills. I reached $4 in my bank account. My dad was badgering me about my paying for Ryan’s college then Logan’s and finally Shane. Well, it seems like a nice thing that he only wants the best for his grand kids but he wasn't will to help. In fact, every time I brought up helping he either said they are my kids and it is my responsibility or he would point to a college fund my kids other grandparents had but they couldn't get the money because my kids mom had control over the fund. Their grandparents that gave a shit put away $140000 on a Lt Col retirement salary. How much did my dad put away (0). So his what is his point in badgering me? Is all about making me feel bad about my situation or is it to point out more of the same. My dad is the cheapest most selfish person I know.

Well I needed help after my divorce and having an appeal would have changed my life. His comment to me about helping was "I can't help you because you got yourself into the mess and you need to get yourself out". He had a few trips to Europe and many cruises. One cruise would have been enough to help me. Anything would have helped. Later after it was too late and I was getting extremely sick and depressed he offered to help but at that time it was too little to late. I had to make 2 trips of about 40 minutes each way to pick my kids up because I had a pickup truck that only held 3 people that was given to me. It was so bad I would have to add oil to the transmission as I was driving when it got too noisy. He decided to sell his car to a neighbor who gave it to his grand daughter. I bet it would be nice to have that guy as a father. I could have used help getting my kids transportation so they could go to school. I had to borrow my girlfriends van for a year. I was able to buy my son a car one year but it wasn't very good and broke down a lot. These would have been great moments for a dad or a grand dad to do something special and would have cost a trip somewhere. My father-in-law went to Europe once and it was with his in-laws. He focused on his family not himself.

I have lots of Dad stories. One time we were at golden coral. My dad was complaining about low blood sugar. So we went to golden coral and we just missed the lunch prices. We were standing in line and my dad saw $11 per person. Now remember I was paying for my self and my 3 kids. He started throwing a fit about the price. Now he has a 6 figure retirement income with no mortgage payment. He asked if he gets a senior discount like he always does. She said it was a free drink. He flipped out because he was planning on getting water. She was willing to take the drink price off his total bringing his bill to $9 plus tax. Mind you I'm paying for 4 people. The mexicans waiting behind us were paying for about 10 of there own family. We left the restaurant and went to get pizza. He complained the whole way to get pizza because the good pizza place was across town. I did have a Sams club close by and if I though of it we could have got him a $1.50 hot dog and drink and dropped him back home.

I remember one time my dad knocked out the catalyst in the catalytic converter so he could use leaded gas. Just before the gas crisis he bought a Pontiac Grand Prix standard 400 cu in (6.6 L) V8 gas guzzler and made my mom go to the gas station and wait in the lines. Dispite being a great student I didn't get a drivers licence until I was 19. Thanks dad.

I have been pretty sick. I have type 2 diabetes and stage 3 kidney disease. Uncontrollable blood pressure over 200. Massive headaches lasting up to 3 months. Severe depression. I lost vission in both eyes. I got let go from my job because I am sick. I didn't have health insurance for months and my father tells me, "I don't know what you are going to do". My mom has been helping with the added cost of me being here. She earns less than 1/2 my dad and has very expensive medical issues. So she gets me a storage room, helps buy clothes, pays for food and my extra costs like water and electricity. SHe even helped buy medications. She helped pay for my lawyer. What did my dad help with? Now I have $830 health insurance bills and about another $800 in other bills with no job. My severance will last about 2 years at this rate. My dad has done quite a bit to ensure his wife’s future but has done nothing to assure mine or my brothers. He could help with insurance or other bills. His income is double my moms. I asked that he before he trades a car in that he offer it to me. I emailed him and I told him multiple times. He traded in the car and made the argument it was worthless. I was even in Florida and willing to buy it. No all he saw was a payment and how to eek it down. That car was very important to me. Then he tells me he is going to run his other car into the ground. I hope in the after life he gets a pair of my old shoes for transportation for all eternity. I hope his afterlife is the same quality of my life after he is gone. This man spent his whole selfish life taking care of what he needs. I have spent mine taking care of the people around me. So for this reason he is not my father, he is not my kids grandfather, which leaves one son. I hope you did a good job taking care of Linda's future and the car dealer.

So with that story being said my dad has made no provision for helping his flesh and blood son. He at one point had his will set up to help his sons and changed it after being under pressure from his wife. So I guess it is easier to cave into pressure than to stand up and be a man. But it isn't just standing up for yourself it is standing up for your flesh and blood son who loves you very much. God knows how I'm going to live on a disability income with massive medical costs not including my bills. I will likely live with family, one of my sons which actually would be great. My sons are great people.

Him and his wife have more than twice the income of my mom and I. Part of the reason for that is she didn't get his retirement money. Well looking into why she didn't get any I found that she is entitled to her share for the years that they were married since she was divored before 1984 and she wasn't given any finacial compensation when they were divorced. It should add up. There is a chance he will have to pay the back money. My mother is also looking to sue for money that the kids did not get because they weren't cared for after the divorce. My youngest brother is currently not speaking with my father for this very reason.

So when I'm gone, Dad, instead of being angry about what I said here you need to man up for once. You need to make sure my kids are taken care of after I am gone. If you can't figure out how to find the courage to help you own flesh and blood than you can find your way around the afterlife without me. Put a dollar in your hand. Ball it up and grip it tightly. Now think about that piece of paper in your hand. That is all it is, paper. That is all you have. You don't have anything that is timeless because you haven't earned it from me, Rob, or my kids. Ronnie doesn't give a shit about you either  but I know he wishes he had more from his father. Everything we have achieved and worked for and accomplished is in spite of you. You don't have long to wake up. My family needs help now not 30 years from now when Linda dies assuming she gives a shit. She will have double what my mom has and plenty of money on top of that. I won't be here and I don't want anything from you anyways. It is too late for that. Make your fucking angry face and act like somehow what you think matters. Trust me it doesn't. There is one thing that matters and you don't deserve a second chance from anyone so don't fail because you are a pig-headed bastard. Trust me it isn't going to work. Oh and Ronnie and Robbie need to be a part of your final decision and your dumb ass $1 or a box of toilet paper is only going to anger me. After which I will crush what is left of your soul and burn it alive for a very long time. Try me.